Talking About Depression



No longer don’t I feel I have my body connected to my mind,
I feel the soul is disconnected and struggling with my faith , Yes I have faith and religion,
It is hard to feel spiritually connected to Islam when in a deep in depression.
It doesn’t help that most people tell you the depression is all in your head when you follow all the advices from doctors , nutritionists, counselors , religious leaders , self help and anything else you think will work and when nothing seems to make one bit of difference.
I feel disembodied and I want to reconnect,
But at the same time I so desperately don’t want to, I just want peace and quiet from my brain it is all scrambled up , confused .
This is the irrational fears that goes along with the depression.
I wish to stay hidden behind the curtain of pain and suffering but not be seen as pouting and wanting attention.
I just want to be left alone. But then I feel like I am missing out on seeing my family and friends, At times I feel that I no longer have a connection to the things and ones I love and feel like a waste of space.
Depression is speaking for me, And I feel like I’m caged up inside,
This cage is dark derry all I want is to get out yet when I do get out I feel lost and alone , I am wanting to speak out against my depression, but it has too tight of a hold choking all my will and life out of me until all I can do is hide in my bed crying to Allah to seen me relief.

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About misfitmuslimah

I suffer from bipolar disorder,PTSDD and Anxiety,as well as a few other disorders with long names I can't pronounce correctly or seem to spell either. I cry more than most everyone I know, not sure if this is a good thing or not. I have suffered many losses in my life, some I might one day be able to talk about others I have buried and try to forget

7 responses »

  1. As Salam Alikum Sister, well written , I know what you mean about struggling with depression and staying connected to your family and faith , at times it is so very hard and all you can do is take it one minute at a time and pray to Allah to aleave your pain and depression

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: Talking About Depression | Dpressedmuslimah

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