So Depressed

Standard

Figured I should probably write a post about how I’ve been doing , truth be told I haven’t been doing that well , I feel crappy and unwell every bone and joint aches in my body my mood is stuck in blah depressed but no one around me even notices if I have a chance I tend to just go to my room and watch pointless tv I am at the point of why bother trying to fight depression it never seems to get better or easier in fact it seems to get a lot harder each time.

Depression is a very hard, lonely and isolating disease that has a lot of stigma attached to it , people judge you for using medication and therapy , people judge you when you don’t and they are always giving you advice on home remedies that help so and so pull through depression.Well to date I have tried over 30 or more medications along with vitamin and supplements , herbs and excise nothing has seemed to help , most of the medications had really bad side effects and there were a few that I was allergic to.

Here’s what I want people to know about depression , it makes me feel sad and have no energy and manifests as psychical symptoms in me , I don’t mean to hide in my room but sometimes it is the only way I can get through the day. When depressed I have a hard time reading people’s emotions and social ques it doesn’t help me any if they are speaking in a different language in fact it makes it 100 times harder .

Depression is like looking at the world with a foggy grey filter on over your eyes it dims the colors and shadows everything in grey , it steals your appetite, your drive , (get up and go ) or what ever you call it .

eeyoes

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About misfitmuslimah

I suffer from bipolar disorder,PTSDD and Anxiety,as well as a few other disorders with long names I can't pronounce correctly or seem to spell either. I cry more than most everyone I know, not sure if this is a good thing or not. I have suffered many losses in my life, some I might one day be able to talk about others I have buried and try to forget

5 responses »

  1. Wow , well written , I am sorry you are suffering and feel that nothing is helping, hugs to you if you want to chat let me know, I understand how you feel, a few years ago this piece would have reflected how I was feeling , depression is hard and exhausting , something that has helped me is a routine and knowing that some days its ok to hide from people . Don’t be hard on yourself be gentle and try and pray if you can , sometimes being depressed gets in the way of prayers .

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sorry to hear about this sister. Depression is really a strange disease and I do believe that medication given by docs are not helpful. Have you tried ruqya?

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      • Right now I am also unable to advise you on where to seek people who can perform ruqya because there are some impostors. But I know that listening to surah al Baqarah regularly might help 🙂

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